In the popular infidel game “Fuck, Marry, Kill”, a participant is given three female celebrities and he must decide which one he wants to fuck, which one to marry, and which one to kill. Of course this game does not work in the civilized Islamic world for us pious Muslims always pick kill for all three choices. That is why we developed a new game “Fuck, Marry, Anal” with the killing being implied after the act.
I Durka Durka will now play “Fuck, Marry, Anal” using the celebrities Taylor Swift, Emma Stone, and Daisy Ridley with my brother Muhammad Muhammad and his good friend and roommate Sadeeq. First up is Sadeeq who chose the configuration above which is to fuck Taylor Swift because “the whore has it coming”, marry Emma Stone because “with her sass mouth she’d be the most fun to smack around”, and anal Daisy Ridley because “her anus is the most reminiscent of a bacha bazi’s (dancing boy’s)”.
My brother Muhammad Muhammad chose the configuration above in which he would fuck Daisy Ridley because “she has the most pleasingly unfeminine body”, marry Taylor Swift because “that Shake It Off song is my jam”, and anal Emma Stone because he wants “to follow in the footsteps of Ryan Gosling’s penis”.
For myself I chose the following configuration… Fuck Emma Stone because getting pounded by my enormous manhood would turn her lady bits and face as bright red as her hair, marry Daisy Ridley because she has the sturdiest body for field work and is clearly a born ditch digger, and anal Taylor Swift because she has the vocal chords to fully express the guttural moans a vigorous Muslim butt banging elicits.