Taylor Swift flaunts her ostrich-esque body while paddleboarding in New England in a striped bikini top and Depends adult diaper.
The province of New England has long been known for being infested with witches. Of course the best way to determine if a woman is a witch is to toss her in a body of water. If she floats then she is a witch, and if she sinks and drowns then she is cleared.
Obviously these bikini photos of Taylor Swift floating provide more than enough evidence for the people of New England to convict Taylor of the crime of witchcraft, and burn her at the stake as they would have done in the past. Let us see if New Englanders still possess the moral fortitude to carry out the sentence.