Kate Middleton Caught Having An Affair With Her Bodyguard

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Princess of Wales Kate Middleton was caught having an affair with her bodyguard Liam Arseshagger of Coventry in the shocking photo above.

Apparently Kate’s husband Prince William first grew suspicious of the couple when Liam would accompany Kate to the “loo”, and they would sometimes not return for over an hour. Of course Kate would claim that she had a nasty case of the “shits“, but William was not convinced.

William considered going to a private detective to put a camera in their bathroom, but luckily that was not needed as William’s father Prince Charles already had a camera installed facing their toilet (as he does in all royal residences), and he gave his son the photo above proving Kate’s infidelity (as well as a few unsolicited ones of the Queen straining to pinch off a loaf).

No word yet if William will be filing for divorce or if he will continue to be a cuckold. Kate reportedly defended her cheating to him by saying “Liam only stuck it in me shitter he did. It was a jolly good rodgering it was“.